Relationships - Part I

James 4:1 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?

There are many things that can start fights among those with whom we have a relationship. From lies to hurt feelings, we can often feel the need to stand up for ourselves or to put right what's been wronged. But the Bible says that fights begin within because of our own desires battling. Our inward battles manifest in quarrels with others. To state it simply, fights start because we are selfish.

This may seem far fetched at first hearing it. But another look will reveal to us that we fight with others because we struggle for power or purpose. We seek something for ourselves and therefore we aim to get it by fighting. There is nothing necessarily wrong with wanting power or purpose, but what we do in order to achieve them can indeed be sinful. The words we use in battle against others can tear them down and steal from them. Even if we gain what we were trying to get for ourselves, it leaves a void. We do not fill the hole by fighting with others. In fact, we do the opposite and create more holes, holes in our relationships.

It's no secret that God is fond of relationships. Jesus spoke many times of our relationships with others. It's clear that our interactions with others are more important than many other things we place at the top of our priorities. In that, it seems that we are being resistant to God.

Are you fighting often? Does it seem that everyone around you just doesn't treat you right? Take a look at your desires and your priorities and decide whether you may be seeking the wrong things.

James 1:19.20 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.